You Don’t Need Closure
What did I do? What did I say? What could I have done differently? Is there someone else? Can we still be friends? Can we fix this?
We torture ourselves with questions when a relationship ends. We want to know the answers. We want to know why. We want to make sense of what we don’t understand.
Yes, closure can help. It can bridge the gap between confusion and heartbreak. It guides us to accept the loss and find the strength to look ahead.
With closure, we realize there is no turning back. There are no what if’s. No second chance. The other person has made up their mind for the reason of x, y, and z. As much as it hurts, closure can help us turn the page and start a new chapter.
But what happens if you don’t get closure? What do you do when your ex won’t communicate or has abruptly ended all contact with you. Just one day, poof — — they’re gone.
Or your relationship ended on bad terms. You saw it coming. You knew the breakup was bound to happen. And your ex isn’t willing to have a formal goodbye.
You’re left hanging and with no lifeline to pull you in.
Well, my love, this is where you don’t need closure.
Burn that bridge and never look back.
If your ex won’t shed light on what went wrong — take that as the closure you need and pack it up. Yes, yes — always easier said than done. But know that sometimes you’ll never hear what you really want to hear.
Breakups are not easy. They take away a part of us, a way we’ve identified. A way of being. You lose your person. Your friend, lover, confidant. It hurts. A lot.
In our pain, we want it to make sense. Because a breakup just doesn’t add up. We don’t go into a relationship thinking of the day things will end. We go in with high hopes and promises for the future waiting to unfold.
And when it crashes and burns, we have to sift through the ashes to find the answers that may or may not bring peace and understanding.
I was a closure kind of girl. I wanted to talk about it and make a clean break. I didn’t want to have ill feelings, anger, or confusion. I’m…