Don’t Stop Dating Your Partner

This may just be one of the secrets to a long lasting relationship.

Photo by Allen Taylor on Unsplash

Ok, I’m no expert at relationships that last. I’ve been divorced for eight years and as single as the last Pringle at the bottom of the can.

The one that’s starting to crumble away and forgotten about.

But I do know a thing or two about why relationships don’t work. And if there’s one thing I’d do different in my next romantic rendezvous, it would be this— -

To never stop dating, never stop exploring, and never stop falling in love with each other.

Marriages and relationships can get complacent. We fall into a routine, expectations, and let’s admit it — — we get lazy. We assume they’ll be there, yesterday, today, and tomorrow. We made a commitment, we may even have a marriage certificate to prove our love and devotion — what more do we need to do?

Everything. You need to keep doing everything.

Never stop showing up for each other.

Bare minimum and necessities aside, keep learning about their likes and dislikes. Plan those dates. Show up with the surprise romantic gestures. Try new things with each other, and get creative (if you know what I mean).

Never stop playing or exploring.

Understand their love language. Honor and build on how they want to be seen and cherished. Mine is words of affirmation. I’m not big on receiving gifts (though I wouldn’t hate if they wanted to lavish and spoil me). But I love connecting through words, being heard and understood. And being reminded of how I am thought of or felt about.

My ex-husband was a cross between acts of service and physical touch. My acts of service — taking care of him and helping him in any way I could showed I cared. I tried to be mindful of his physical needs. But we had a rocky marriage with him having two affairs, so obviously I didn’t fulfill that requirement.

Anyway, moving on…

Always stay curious. Just like the day you met.

Who is this extremely fine human being and how am I so lucky to be with them?